For You
by AyaMae91
Summary: She realized she was wrong the moment she said it.  The fact that he loved her most definitely was not the problem, and now she had to make amends before it was too late… post 3x14 "Dangerous Liaisons"
1. Guilt

**Disclaimer: I do not own TVD. If I did, Damon and Elena would already be together.**

**This is just a little Delena drabble set after "Dangerous Liaisons." It is loosely based on the song, I'd Come For You by Nickelback. Even if many of you are Nickelback haters, at least appreciate the beautiful lyrics of this song. P.S. This is how things **_**should **_**have gone in my humblest opinion. The scene with Stefan at the end of 3x14 never happened in this story.**

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter 1: Guilt**

"_Time to be honest,_

_This time I'm pleading…_

_Please don't dwell on it,_

'_Cause I didn't mean it…"_

Elena woke up in the morning feeling as if a twenty ton weight were resting on top of her. She stared at the ceiling, remembering the events of the night before and wondered what she could have done differently. Not only had she helped seal the fate of the entire Original family, she had looked Damon in the eyes and said the one thing that could make him flip the switch to "old Damon" again.

She wasn't entirely sure what had made her say it, but she couldn't have been more wrong. She had known it the moment the words escaped her lips. Who was she to say his love for her was getting in the way of everything? Who was she to suggest that tapping into his humanity had made him care too much—had made him a liability, as he had so coldly stated. The thought of that icy stare and numb shock etched across his face chilled her to bones. She was truly guilty this time. Not simply because of what she had said, but because of all that they had been through together.

It was her who had wanted him to care more—to be the better man. She had wanted him to act more human, and even though his humanity was exactly what he wanted, it was nearly impossible to go against the blood-thirsty, murderous instincts that being a vampire entailed. She had all but begged for him to change; to be more like Stefan. And he had become exactly what she wanted him to be.

And Elena had practically destroyed all that progress with her simple response, "Well maybe that's the problem…" She didn't even know how she could think that after all the times he had saved her. She wouldn't even be alive if it hadn't been for Damon's selfless—well most of the time selfish—acts of love.

Then her thoughts wandered back to the night she had asked Damon to compel Jeremy to leave Mystic Falls. It wasn't very long ago, but she had thanked him for everything he had done for her, and she had meant every word. He had been her rock, her support, and her safety for the last six months, and when he kissed her that night, she had allowed herself to kiss him back. Then she acted like none of that had even mattered—and practically kicked him to the curb for being in love with her.

Now, she truly felt like a horrible person. She had no idea where she had gone wrong. She knew she had betrayed his trust again; the only thing was that she didn't know if he would forgive her this time. If she was being completely honest with herself, she had allowed herself to use him as a crutch in Stefan's absence.

She had acted like Katharine would have—and that was far from acceptable.

The strange thing was that it wasn't the kiss or her feelings for both Salvatore brothers that made her feel guilty. It was the fact that subconsciously, and even consciously at times, she had played on both of their feelings for her, to get them to do her bidding. She had them wrapped around her finger, especially Damon, and she knew that there wasn't anything he wouldn't do for her—no lengths that he wouldn't go to as long as it made her happy. _That_ was what made her like Katharine. _That_ was what terrified her the most.

It was then that she bolted out of bed, took the quickest shower of her life, and was driving over to the Salvatore Boarding house within 20 minutes. If there was one thing that separated her from Katharine, it was her ability to feel guilty—and her ability to apologize, which was exactly what she was about to do.

She walked up to the door of the mansion—always so daunting, she thought—but when she reached the door she hesitated. Sure, it was her house, and she had always been welcome there, but somehow after the events of last night, she just didn't feel welcome at the moment. So she knocked, and within moments, the door flung open, revealing a very wet and towel clad Damon.

She hardly had a moment to take in the sight of him in all his half naked, dripping wet, sexy, muscular glory, before he greeted her with contempt. "Elena." It wasn't his usual warm and tender way of saying her name. "To what do I owe the pleasure?" Sarcasm. _Great._ She realized she would have to work extra hard to fix her slip-up from the night before.

She opened her mouth to speak, but she had no idea how to convince him that she really, truly hadn't meant what she said.

"If you don't have anything worthwhile to say, you can _leave._" Damon said coldly, and began to shut the door in her face.

"Damnit Damon!" She finally came to her senses, and pushed her way into the house. "I came here to apologize. But if you're going to act like that, maybe you don't deserve it!" There she went again—she really needed to shove a sock in her mouth for all the things she had said to Damon that weren't true. She saw the hurt momentarily flicker across his face again, and sighed.

"Right, Elena, because I just _love_ the constant reminder that I don't _deserve _you. Now if you don't mind, I'm a little _busy _at the moment."

He began ascending the staircase, leaving her in the doorway, feeling like she wanted to curl up in a corner and die. Why was it so hard for her to think before she spoke with Damon? When it came to her, he was always so vulnerable. It was way too easy for her to hurt his feelings, and she just couldn't leave the house without making amends. "Damon, _please. _Just hear me out," she pleaded.

He stopped on the fifth step, considering her for a moment, but didn't turn to face her. He couldn't allow her to see the mixture of hurt and longing that seemed to be burned into his conscience as of late. He knew the moment he turned around and saw her beautiful, brown eyes pleading with him, that he wouldn't be able to resist her power over him.

"Not this time, Elena. You've worn out your welcome." Despite the tone of bitterness he had managed to convey, it took every bit of his resolve to deny her of what she wanted. "Leave. Before I _make _you leave."

She stared at him in utter disbelief as he continued his ascent. "No, Damon, you won't make me leave, and I'm not leaving until you hear what I have to say." She folded her arms across her chest in stubbornness. In a flash Damon was in front of her, glaring daggers, and looking angrier than ever.

"Leave, Elena," he threatened. "_NOW._"

"NO." She knew he wouldn't hurt her, no matter how angry he was with her at the moment.

"You stupid girl. What part of _leave_ don't you understand?" Rebekah appeared at the top of the stairs, wearing Damon's shirt; her hair tossed in a messy array of blonde locks. Elena had definitely not expected this, as understanding dawned on her face.

She turned to Damon. It was her turn to glare daggers. In fact, she was so livid with anger, she had no idea what was actually going to come out of her mouth this time. "YOU SLEPT WITH HER? She tried to kill me less than 24 hours ago, and you just _slept with her? _How dare you…"

If Damon was being honest, he had felt a little guilty about his indiscretion, but her last comment dispelled any traces of said guilt. "Oh, how dare I? Really, Elena, that's the best you can come up with? You're the one who enjoys having me wrapped around your pretty little finger, to do your bidding and be there for you, when it's_ convenient _for you. You made it perfectly clear last night that I'm a liability. I _care_ too much, remember? So yes Elena, you're right, how _dare_ I finally accept that I will never be good enough for you." He was in her face by now; anger, disappointment, and total anguish flowing through every fiber of his being.

Shame and guilt hit her full on like a freight train. She knew he was angry and upset with her, but this was too much to bear. The moment she felt the hot tears spill from her eyes, she bolted out the front door and drove away as fast as she could, leaving Damon in the doorway to stand with the fresh image of her tear streaked face etched into his memory.

The next moment, Rebekah appeared behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist, beckoning for him to join her in his bedroom. He ignored her and walked into the parlor to his Bourbon stash, pouring himself a generous glass of the amber liquid.

"Damon?" she prodded.

"Take the hint blondie, and get out of my house. I want to be _alone."_

Insulted, she was upstairs to grab her things and back down in the parlor within seconds. When she spoke it was with an air of haughty indignation, "I'm not sure what it is you see in that little doppelganger bitch, but you'll both be sorry you messed with me."

"Already am." He shot her an annoyed look, and she stalked out the door with her chin in the air. "Bye now," he said with mock conviction. He heard something smash in the entry, and then the door slammed, shaking the entire house.

He drained his glass of liquid comfort, and quickly poured himself another one. He brought the glass to his lips, thought for a moment and hurled the glass into the fireplace as the anger consumed him. As the flames that erupted at the contact with alcohol subsided, so did his anger, and the only thing he was left with was the guilt of causing pain to the woman he loved. He had made Elena cry—again—and even though he was beyond angry with her, he was just as equally angry with himself. He was just as guilty of causing the rift that had somehow formed between them as she was.

But it didn't matter. Nothing changed the fact that he would never be good enough for her, and nothing would make him more deserving of her love. That was just how it was—how it had to be.

**I really hope you enjoyed this! At first this was only going to be a oneshot…but after I wrote this chapter, I realized I had a few ideas that I could pursue :) **

**Let me know what you think! Reviews are always welcome!**


	2. Defeat

**WOW! I am so happy for all the reviews and subscriptions to my story that have bombarded my email today! You guys gave me so much inspiration I decided to update again. I probably won't be able to update as often as I'd like though from now on. I am going to Prague over Spring Break, and I have mountains of homework to get done before I leave, so please bear with me. **

**Also, I decided to add a few more songs to my inspiration for this piece. :) Feel free to check them out if you wish! **

**I admit my muse is taking me places I hadn't expected, so I apologize for lying yesterday when I said the scene with Stefan at the end of 3x14 never happened….apparently it did. Lol **

**Enjoy!**

Chapter 2: Defeat

_I can't figure out_

_Why you don't love me now._

_So why'd you tear me down?_

_I'm faceless in the crowd_

_So tell me is this real?_

'_Cause I can't help but feel_

_I'm heading for heartache…._

_I Can Tell- Adelita's Way_

Damon had given up. He loved Elena dearly, and he would still do everything he could to keep her alive, but since trying to win her love fair and square had clearly failed him, he just couldn't put himself through the rejection anymore. And she had rejected him—over and over again. He laughed bitterly as he wondered why it took so long for that simple concept to sink in, and downed another shot of bourbon.

Tonight, he had betrayed her in the worst way. He had won the coin toss with Stefan fair and square, but he still chose to be the one to destroy the Bennett witch line by turning Bonnie's mother into a vampire. He figured Elena was probably at her best friend's house—expressing her newfound hatred for him no doubt. In truth, he felt bad about it, but what was the use of being the better man and doing good deeds, if it still meant he could never be with the woman he loved.

Besides, since Stefan had admitted he was done drinking human blood again, there was no doubt in his mind that Elena would welcome him back with open arms. It really was unfair that he had tried so hard to be the man she wanted him to be, and had kept his word to her time and time again, but as soon as he made one wrong move—even once—it seemed she just couldn't leave it be. Yet, then there was Stefan, in all his bad-ass ripper glory, and she could forgive him for everything he had done to her at the first sign that he still cared.

Damnit. Why did he always have to lose to his brother? First with Katharine, now with Elena. He vaguely wondered if he would ever find a woman that actually wanted to be with him, but his thoughts were rudely interrupted by the sound of a familiar heartbeat approaching the door.

Before she could knock, Damon had the door open, and was leaning against the door frame staring at her with those piercing blue eyes. It unnerved Elena and she involuntarily took a step back. She had been crying. Damnit. Just what he needed right now—an Elena pity party to dampen his already dampened mood.

"Stefan's not here," he stated matter-of-factly, and returned to his shot glass and already half empty bottle.

She was slightly taken aback by his assumption, but it didn't matter because she had business to attend to. "Why, Damon? You just couldn't set your anger with me aside for the night, could you? You just had to ruin Bonnie's life yet again….Is this how you lash out at me? I'm going to lose my best friend …and all because—because I hurt your feelings?" She stood in the entry to the parlor with an exasperated and extremely sullen expression on her face. Her eyes were glazed over yet again with the tears that had been threatening to spill over the moment she set foot in the house. She was so angry with Damon, and she wished more than anything that she could take back the events of the last two days in the hopes that none of this would have happened. But it had happened. She had hurt him, and he betrayed her, and now she had no idea where the two of them stood.

_This was bound to come sooner or later I suppose… _ He leaned against the back of the couch, merely staring at her. He really had nothing to say to her at the moment, because even if he had let Stefan do the dirty deed of turning Abby Bennett into a vampire, she would still be angry with him for not stopping Stefan.

"What would you have suggested I do, Elena, let you die? 'Cause I sure as hell can't do that."

"Why? All I do is cause you pain, don't I? I mean, let's face it, wouldn't you be much happier if I were gone? You wouldn't have to watch me with your brother. You wouldn't have to keep saving my life every damn day. I'm sick of running. I'm sick of losing people. And I'm sick and tired of fearing for my life, Damon. So yes, let me die, because then everyone else can stop suffering on _my _behalf." The tears spilled down her cheeks and she slid to the floor in anguish.

Her thoughts returned to her conversation with Caroline earlier that night. It hurt to hear that her best friend didn't want to see her, and it felt like a giant piece of her heart was being ripped from her chest, but she had understood perfectly.

_"Put yourself in her shoes… Everything that happened tonight was to save you." Her friend paused, hesitating with her next words, "…and that's okay, because she _loves _you. So much." Another pause. She knew where this conversation was going, and she felt a lump form in her throat as she held back the tears. "But somehow…She's always the one who gets hurt." Her words weren't harsh, but it didn't make hearing the truth any less painful._

Caroline Forbes was absolutely right, and it was her fault that everyone she loved kept getting hurt. She had no idea how Bonnie could ever forgive her for putting her in that situation, even if she wasn't directly responsible for the actions taken by others. Now here she was on Damon's floor, crying her eyes out, and hoping that for once their lives could go back to normal. The one thing she had done right was sending Jeremy to live with relatives in Colorado. She envied the fact that he could now live a normal life, but if she could have saved everyone from the fate that being her loved one entailed, she wouldn't think twice about it. She truly would rather be dead than watch everyone else suffer.

As Damon watched Elena in her vulnerable state of emotional chaos, he felt every last bit of his resolve slipping away from him. He wanted to comfort her, to kiss her, to be there for her, and he would have done just that had the other Salvatore brother not walked in at that exact moment.

Stefan took one look at Elena, concern for the girl apparent in his every feature.

"She's alright. She's just furious with me is all. I'm sure she'll get over it sooner or later." He turned his back on Stefan, his resolve falling perfectly back into place, and in a blur of motion he was gone from the room.

Elena didn't even have to look up to know who was now standing in the room with her. She took a deep breath, wiped her tears and rose to her feet to face the man she still very much loved.

"Elena… are you alright?" She noticed that the question seemed almost forced when he said it, but she was still taken by surprise at this newfound level of concern.

"Do you think I'm alright Stefan? Damon just turned Bonnie's mother into a vampire, and now she refuses to talk to me. And personally, I just wish you would all stop saving my life all the time! I can take care of myself." She really needed to get off this roller coaster ride of emotions that she was on, because it was getting really difficult to handle all the twists and turns. She sighed, and started for the door, but Stefan caught her by the hand and pulled her into a warm embrace. She stood frozen for a few moments, and then settled into the familiar comfort of his arms. "Stefan...why are you doing this?"

He released her and took a step back while keeping his arms rested on her shoulders. "This is me….allowing myself to care again. I still love you, Elena. I never stopped."

Upstairs, Damon was listening intently on the conversation taking place in the entrance hall downstairs. If he had any glimmer of hope, it vanished when he heard Stefan utter the words that were sure to destroy any trace of feelings Elena might have still had for him. He simply couldn't bear the pain any longer, and he vanished out into the cold winter night air, before he could hear her response.

She looked at Stefan with a dumbfounded expression on her face. "Stefan, I—now really isn't the time for this…" Her tone was apologetic, but she spoke the truth. She was angry and upset, and as much as she had wanted to hear him say those words again, it didn't make her feel the way she had expected it would. Yes, she loved him, but the moment he said those words, she was reminded of a certain other Salvatore brother, whom she undeniably had feelings for also. "I can't do this right now. I'm sorry." And with that she left the house, while Stefan stared blankly at the place she had previously been standing.

The moment she was home, she collapsed onto her bed in a heap of emotional exhaustion, but was unable to settle her thoughts long enough to drift off into sleep. It seemed one name in particular would not stop its incessant invasion of her thoughts, and she gave in and pressed speed dial.

Damon's phone rang moments later, thirty miles away, as he stood in the middle of the highway next to the terrified form of a young man who was about to be his next victim. He grasped the collar of the man's shirt with one hand while he fished his phone out of his pocket.

He looked at the name on the lit up screen of his phone. _Elena_. Inner turmoil consumed him as he thought about the woman on the other end of the line, and the man whom he was about to drain of blood. He continued to look between the phone and the man, and finally hit the ignore button. He shoved the phone back into his pocket, looked regretfully at the innocent man, and allowed his bloodthirst to consume him. He sank his teeth into the man's exposed jugular, relishing in the warmth of the liquid flowing down his throat.

But when the body was drained, he was left with nothing but the guilt of the crime of passion he had just committed. He felt lifeless—defeated—and he realized it was best if he just didn't return to Mystic Falls that night, if ever. With that, he disappeared into the night once again.

**Ahhh, I was not expecting my muse to take me there. I wonder what's going to happen next? Keep reading to find out!**

**As always, please let me know what you think :)**

**~Aya Mae~**


	3. Truth And Closure

**Dear beloved readers, I am so sorry this took so long. It seemed my muse really wanted me to kill off Alaric, and I simply could not have that…Elena doesn't need to lose her only parental figure left in her life. **

**Nonetheless, this story isn't meant to be tragic. I want to keep it simple, but still complicated because of the way the characters feel. As we all know, emotions can sometimes be more complicated than the actual matter at hand. My main goal is to capture Elena's inner conflict over her feelings for Damon and Stefan, how she finally deals with it, and how she comes to make her decision. Plus, she needs to fix things with Damon asap.**

**With that said, Enjoy! =D**

Chapter 3: Truth and Closure

_And I'll never make it without you_

_I need a second chance_

'_Cause I wanna make it about you_

_I'll make it my last stand._

_It took a moment to say,_

_It wasn't you, it was me._

_I couldn't let you in._

_Now I'm ashamed I pushed you away from me._

_Now I'm afraid it's too late to save again._

_Last Stand- Adelita's Way_

Elena lay sprawled out on her best friends' mattress, staring at the ceiling wondering when things would go back to normal, if that was even possible anymore. She just couldn't seem to keep her thoughts, feelings, and emotions straight anymore. She was taking her anger out on the wrong people, not taking responsibility for her actions, and it was really starting to eat at her from the inside out.

A week had gone by since the night her other best friend refused to talk to her, and as far as she knew, it was going to take a lot to repair that relationship. They could all blame Damon as much as they wanted, but the fact of the matter was that someone had to do the deed in order to stop Esther and save Elena. In any case, it could have been worse—they could have killed Abby, leaving Bonnie to pull herself together again from the loss of another family member. But she knew Bonnie didn't see it that way. To have her mother turned into a vampire was equally as bad in her eyes. The good thing was that thanks to Caroline, Abby Bennett was making astounding progress as a vampire. Nonetheless, it didn't change the fact that Elena was the reason for all this suffering—even her own suffering.

She really had no idea when all her relationships had gotten so screwed up. First, Stefan left town with Klaus, returned as Stefan the ripper, and now suddenly he seemed to care again. He still loved her. She was happy that there was hope for him, but she knew she could never love him the same way again. Somehow, their simple conversation that same night had helped her realize this. She supposed it was a good thing, but she still needed to talk to him about it.

And then there was Damon. She felt a strange combination of guilt, sympathy, and anger towards him. Guilt for everything she had put him through, including all the times she said the wrong thing, and wrongly accused him of something. Sympathy for the situation he was in, that she had ultimately been the cause of. And anger because, even after her attempt to make things right with him, he had left town—just left, without a word. And she had no idea why.

She was hurt that he would just leave her like that, after he had promised her he would never leave her again. At the same time, she supposed she deserved it, but it didn't make the pain of dealing with his absence any more bearable. She wasn't sure why she fought so hard to deny her feelings for him. It's not like the rest of her friends didn't see it happening throughout Stefan's human blood binge the last six months.

Caroline sat on the edge of the bed with her hand resting reassuringly on Elena's arm. She understood the inner conflict that was going on in Elena's mind right now. She could hardly tell her best friend that Damon was no good for her and she was better off without either Salvatore brother. Sure, she didn't like Damon all that much, but he had been there for Elena—he had protected her. And he loved her. Besides, she was currently stuck in an awkward situation herself, trying to fight the onslaught of feelings that Klaus had unbelievably managed to bring out in her, and keep her mouth shut about the whole ordeal. This was proving extremely difficult because she desperately needed advice, but there was no one she could talk to about it. Yes, falling for that evil vampire hybrid was far worse than Elena falling for Damon. At least Damon had proved himself worthy of her love.

She had been so wrapped up in her own thoughts that she wasn't sure how long Elena had been crying silently on the pillow next to her. "Oh god, Elena, I'm so sorry….I know you miss Damon. But I just know he'll come back. You need to stop worrying so much, and just let things happen however they are meant to…" her voice was tender and motherly. She realized she was also giving herself the same advice. "But I think you need to figure out how you feel about Damon and Stefan. And I mean _really_ figure out how you feel. When it comes down to it, which one could you never live without?" She paused, allowing Elena to mull that one over for a few seconds, before continuing, "I think you will find you know the answer to this question already…"

Elena sat up and stared with open admiration at Caroline for the honesty. "But what about Bonnie? She's already so upset with me, if I allow myself to…."—she hesitated with her words—"love Damon…How could she ever forgive me for that, after what he did to her mother?"

"Elena…she's going to be mad, there's no doubt about that." She sighed. It was amazing how much this conversation also applied to her own life. "But she sees how much Damon cares about you, and even though he would go so far as to turn her mother…I think in the end, she could set aside her misgivings and be supportive, just as she has done time and time again. She just wants you to be happy. She wants us all to be happy…" She smiled softly, and then gave Elena a tight hug.

Elena knew her blonde friend was right. They all wanted the same thing—to just be happy, and live a semi-normal life again. She wiped the tears that had clung to her cheeks, and left the bed to gaze out the window. She truly missed Damon. She knew that when—no—if he returned to Mystic Falls, she had to make right all the wrong she had done to him, and tell him how she really felt. She did already know the answer to Caroline's question. She had already lived without Stefan. Damon had never left her like that. Sure, their relationship was unpredictable and scary to her, but it was also exciting. It was strange to admit after being in love with Stefan for so long, but the answer was simple enough—Stefan she could live without; Damon she could not.

When she arrived at home that night, she was surprised to find the house empty. She went to the kitchen, poured herself a glass of water, and almost dropped the glass on the floor as she turned to find Stefan standing less than three feet away from her.

"Oh god, Stefan, don't scare me like that!" she exclaimed, trying to calm the adrenaline rush that suddenly rushed through her nerves. She observed the apologetic expression on his face, and sighed. "I suppose you are here to talk….about what happened the other night? I'm sorry I just left like that, I should have explained—"

"—No, it's fine. You were already overwhelmed that night. I shouldn't have said anything. My apologies," he bowed his head slightly in a courteous manner. "That's all I came here to say so…I'll be going now." He moved past her quietly, heading for the door.

"Stefan, wait." She stepped forward to grab his arm before he could use his supernatural agility to disappear in the blink of an eye. "Can we just talk? We used to be able to talk about anything… and all we do now is hold everything back." He seemed reluctant, but when he looked her in the eyes and saw the look of hope and expectation, he just couldn't resist. He nodded, and they moved into the living room to settle slightly uncomfortably on the couch.

They sat in silence for a few minutes while they both tried to think of the best thing to talk about first. In the end, it was Stefan who surprisingly spoke first, and the words that came out of his mouth were laced with guilt.

"I'm sorry… for everything that I have put you through since I left. I know you understand why I left…I couldn't let Damon die." Elena could see how hard this was for him to say, after shutting off his emotions for so long. She scooted closer to him on the couch and rested her hand gently on his thigh.

"Stefan, you don't have to do this… I don't blame you for anything. I'm done blaming everybody else for things that are out of my control…somehow, all this crap has to come to an end, and I will fight until I see that day." There was a moment's silence while Stefan considered her words.

"You really have changed." It wasn't a question, but a statement.

She thought for a moment, and then nodded. "Well, losing almost every family member you have, and the man you love will do that to you..." She looked down at her lap and then rose from the couch to stand by the window, staring out into the dark yard in order to hide the tears that threatened to reveal her true sorrow. She'd be lying if she said it wasn't still painful to think about the tragedies of the last two years of her life.

"Elena…If I could go back and do things differently, I would do it in a heartbeat." Stefan spoke softly; regret apparent in every syllable, and she heard him rise from the couch. He stopped directly behind her, and tenderly wrapped his arms around her. They stood there like that for a few minutes, as they both stared out the window into the night, lost in their own thoughts.

Elena thought about the relationship they used to have. He was showing the human side of him again, and had she not already decided she couldn't be with him anymore, this moment they were sharing definitely would have changed everything. It felt good to be the arms of the man she loved once again, but just like the other night, she noticed that being with him didn't feel as right as it once did. The stars and the planets didn't seem to align whenever they were together anymore, and that was something she had learned to accept.

"Stefan, there's nothing you could have done. Klaus' blood was the only way to save Damon. Sure, maybe the steps you took to get it could have been avoided—somehow—but the fact is that Klaus still would have done everything he could to make us suffer, whether you were directly involved or not."

Again he paused—it seemed he was doing a lot of that—before he continued. "Can you ever forgive me?" he spoke gently into her ear, and she turned to face him, placing her hands on either side of his face.

"I've already forgive you, Stefan." It felt like she was piercing his soul with her beautiful brown eyes, and he tried to look away, but she held firmly. "Listen to me, you have proven to me that you still care, and I know it's hard for you to be having this conversation with me…but it means more to me that you can imagine."

He smiled at her, but the smile didn't touch his eyes. He just stared at the girl in front of her, and wondered if there was any hope for them again. She lowered her hands and stared back, trying to figure out what he was thinking at the moment. Then he decided to take a chance—one last chance. He raised his hands to cup her face and stooped to place a gentle yet earnest kiss on her lips. They were full of warmth, and he breathed in her familiar scent, remembering all the moments like this that they used to share so passionately.

Elena had definitely not expected this kiss. It was tender yet full of meaning, and it was such an innocent gesture that she felt tears welling up in her eyes. Yes, she still loved him—she loved him dearly—but this wasn't right. She had to tell him how she felt, but she had no idea how. She broke the kiss, and looked up at him with a sorrowful expression.

"Stefan… I—"

"No, I need to say something," he paused. "I meant what I said the other night. I still love you. I know that I can never make up for all the pain I've caused you, but let me try."

She opened her mouth to speak, but found that she was at a loss for words. He was being one hundred percent sincere, that much she was sure of and the look of hopeful desperation in his eyes made her feel guilty once more. She knew she had to tell him that there was no future for them. She had to make it clear that things could never be the same no matter how hard they tried. Most importantly, she had to tell him that she had feelings for his older brother, and that she wanted to see where that relationship could go. She knew how difficult it would be for him to accept it, and his actions in the last ten minutes made it extremely difficult for her to break it to him.

"Stefan… I will always love you. I have no doubt about that. But things need to change… they can never go back to the way they used to be."

His face fell and he lowered his eyes to the floor. "I see….I should have suspected you would say that. Still, I wish I had chosen differently and things wouldn't have to be like this…" He pressed his lips gently to her forehead, and closed his eyes tightly as if to shut out his emotions once more. It was more difficult than he expected, but he had to. "I think I will be leaving now."

"No, wait," Elena spoke quickly so he wouldn't disappear. "There's one more thing I need to tell you. I don't want you to find out by anyone other than me, because it's only fair…"

Stefan didn't even have to guess what she was about to tell him. He already knew. "You have feelings for Damon. Yeah, I'm aware. It's not too difficult to tell."

She nodded, looking slightly taken aback. "How—?"

"It doesn't matter. I stand by what I've said before, you can do better than him. But I'll give it to him that he really does love you… so, good luck." It was difficult for him not to be bitter towards the two of them, but he knew he had lost her the moment he left, and Damon had been there for her through it all, good times and bad. He was in no place to be angry with her for falling for his brother in his absence. She was only human after all, and she had feelings that he had ignored. In the end, it would always be his fault that he lost her to his older brother.

"Stefan…I'm sorry," she said in a voice barely above a whisper.

"Don't be."

She opened her mouth to retaliate but in the blink of an eye he was gone, and she was left alone once again. She curled up on the couch with the afghan that was draped over the back, and cried. She wasn't entirely sure why she was crying. Maybe it was the fact that she finally had the closure with Stefan that she had needed all along. Or maybe it was because that was the easy part and now she had to convince Damon that her feelings were real this time. She thought about calling Caroline or Bonnie for advice, but they already had enough to deal with, and she didn't need to add her own drama to the mix. So she dialed the number that she had called about 50 times that week already.

She wasn't surprised to hear it go to voicemail, but it hurt more than she could imagine not knowing where Damon was or if he was even alright, or if he was fine and simply ignoring her incessant phone calls. Eventually she cried herself to sleep without even moving from the couch to her bedroom, but as she was drifting off only one wish plagued her thoughts.

The only thing she wanted in the world more than to see Klaus impaled on a stick was to hear Damon's voice again.

**Woo. That was much longer than I anticipated. They just didn't want to shut up long enough for me to wrap the chapter up. **

**I finally was able to get this done after a very inspirational walk around the beautiful city of Prague today. I really hope you like it, and will still continue to read and review despite how long it took me to update.**

**~Aya Mae**


	4. The Return

**Dear beloved readers, thank you so much for all the story alerts and reviews! It means more than you will ever know! I had a lot of inspiration to get this chapter up as soon as possible thanks to all of you :) Also, I want to get as much written before the show returns from its hiatus this Thursday. I don't know about you guys, but I am stoked for the new episode!**

**With that said, read on my friends :) **

Chapter 4: The Return

_See I thought love was black and white_

_That it was wrong, or it was right_

_But you ain't leaving without a fight_

_And I think I am just as torn inside._

_Where I Stood- Missy Higgins._

Damon sat at the bar in some small town in North Carolina, already feeling the effects of the amber liquid that filled less than half of the bottle he was holding in his hand. He took another swig from the bottle, and stared with unfocused eyes at the vibrating phone in front of him. He rolled his eyes, and sighed. It was Elena—again—and he was still in no mood to talk to her. A little absence would do her some good, he thought.

He had considered turning off his phone completely, but there was a small part of him—actually a rather large part if he was being honest, that cherished the fact that she had called about fifty times, and left about half as many voicemails, because it proved that she still cared. However, he knew that as soon as he heard her voice his resolve would break and he would go running back to her, so he had deleted every single message she left without even listening to them.

He had been away for an entire week, which was perhaps the longest amount of time he had spent away from her. The night he left he had done the one thing she would probably never forgive—took the life of an innocent human. Needless to say, he hadn't done it since. Instead, he had attempted to drown all his sorrows in alcohol—over and over again—until he could at least get through the night without thinking about her, and tonight was no different.

Truth be told, he really wished he could return to Mystic Falls—to see her again—even if it meant that he still couldn't have her. He had, after all, promised her that he would never leave her again, and he was definitely breaking that promise now. But he knew that as soon as he laid eyes on her, with her olive skin and beautiful brown eyes, the sting of rejection would nestle itself in his heart once again, and he wouldn't be able to handle it. He had almost reached his breaking point the night he gave in to his instincts and killed that human, but the guilt he felt afterwards quickly brought him back to reality.

If there was one thing he didn't want, it was to turn the switch off of his emotions, but 148 years of being rejected by Katharine and then her doppelganger, were beginning to take its toll on him. He knew it was easier to flip the switch; he had done it before, but his feelings for Elena kept him grounded, even when he wished they didn't.

He downed the last couple swallows of alcohol, and shook his head, trying to clear it of those invasive thoughts of her, deciding that he clearly wasn't drunk enough yet. He slid the bottle towards the bartender who threw it in the recycling and brought back another full bottle for him before he could ask her for another one. She handed it to him, and gave him a pitying look that almost immediately drove Damon over the edge.

With lightning speed he grabbed her wrist tightly, and practically growled, "Don't ever look at me like that again, or you will not live to see another day." Even in his drunken state, he was able to focus his mind compulsion on the young girl in front of him who thought she had the right to feel sorry for him. "I don't want you're _pity_. Are we clear, miss?"

She stared at him in a daze, repeated his words blankly at him, and he released her. She shook her head, and blinked a couple times, unsure of the feeling that had just come over her. She spared a glance in the brooding man's direction, and returned to work as quickly as she could.

He grabbed the bottle from the counter, and decided to take his brooding back to the mansion on the outskirts of town, where he had compelled the owners to take a nice long vacation while he occupied their home for a week or two.

He had nearly downed the entire bottle by the time he wandered into the house and crashed on the leather sofa in the living room. It was a nice house, almost as elaborate as the Salvatore boarding house, but it was too clean. It almost smelled as if nobody actually inhabited the house prior to its inhabitance by Damon. He preferred the warmth and comfort of the boarding house where Elena's scent surrounded him, even when she wasn't there. _Damnit. _It was one of those nights where no matter how much alcohol he consumed, he simply could not keep her out of his mind.

It was well past midnight at this point, and he decided to just sleep off his drunken stupor, and return to his brooding in the morning. Unfortunately his dreams were just as plagued by images of the woman he loved as his reality was.

_Elena parted from Stefan, and walked up to him, with a sorrowful expression on her face, and he immediately knew what she was about to tell him. "I'm sorry Damon, I do love you, but it will never be the same as the way I feel about Stefan." She truly looked sincere, but it didn't lessen the pain that it caused him, even in his dream. And then she was gone. Stefan had taken the one thing that Damon would have given the world to have for his own._

"I _get_ it already. You love my baby _brother._" He mumbled in his sleep, and then the dream changed.

_They were walking hand in hand down the street to the Grill. She was smiling that beautiful smile of hers, and looking over at him with those big brown eyes that never failed to captivate him. In the distance they saw Stefan, and Elena waved at him happily. A very familiar pang of jealousy and hurt seemed to erupt throughout his entire being at that moment, and he stopped dead in his tracks. Elena looked back at him in surprise and confusion._

_ "Damon? Are you ok?"_

_ "Oh yeah sure, just stop the act already, I know you love my brother. Go ahead, just admit it." He was getting angrier by the minute and more so when Elena played dumb about the whole situation. _

_ "Damon, I thought that was all in the past? I don't understand what brought this on all of a sudden… I've made it pretty clear that I'm over Stefan." She was perfectly calm, but when he gave her a cynical look, she continued more urgently. "I love _you,_ Damon. Not Stefan. Please believe me when I say that." She took his hands in hers and brought them up to her lips to place a small kiss on the top of his knuckles._

A small smile crept upon Damon's face as he dreamed about a day when they seemed to be truly and completely in love with each other. Then the dream switched again.

_It was the night of the sacrifice again, and he stood at the edge of the forest, watching helplessly as Klaus had drained Elena's body dry. He had acted brashly that day in order to save her life, feeding her his blood so that she would come back as a vampire. But all he felt now was guilt about taking away the one choice that was still hers to make. Luckily John had been there and chose to give up his own life to save his daughter; otherwise he never would have forgiven himself for it. _

_ As the sun rose, he had carried her limp body out of the clearing and back to the boarding house, praying that she came back to life as a human and not a vampire. Hours passed by excruciatingly slowly, as they waited for her to wake up. But it never happened. They waited all day, and by the end of the day John was still very much alive and Elena was still very much dead. He didn't understand what had gone wrong. Either way she should have lived. It made no sense to him. He placed a finger where her pulse would have been and there was definitely no heartbeat. _

_ "Elena. Wake up. Please. You have to wake up! I can't lose you…." He gently touched her cheek with the back of his hand and brushed the hair out of her eyes. "Elena, I love you. Please, wake up Damnit!" He sobbed, sitting on the couch, cradling her cold body in his arms, and then he let out a loud cry, one that was full of anguish and pain. His worst fear had become a reality. Elena Gilbert was dead._

Damon sat up abruptly, surrounded by the white down comforter that didn't belong to him. He was breathing heavily, and beads of sweat slid down his temples mingled with the tears that had escaped during the night. He wiped them off, remembering the nightmare he had just woken up from. He walked over to the window to pull open the curtains and saw that the sun was already brightly shining. He winced as the rays struck him in the eyes and he shook his head, also trying to rid himself of the image of Elena's cold, lifeless body in his arms.

He sighed, and finally accepted the fact that he had been away from Mystic Falls long enough. He needed to see Elena again. He had to at least explain himself. He was, after all, just as responsible for the rift that had formed between them as she was, and he wasn't ready to give up yet.

. . .

Elena woke up to the tantalizing aroma of bacon frying on the stove. She wandered into the kitchen while rubbing her eyes, and leaned against the island counter.

"Rough night, huh?" Alaric asked, concerned when he saw her bloodshot eyes and the bags that had formed beneath them. She looked tired, like she hadn't been sleeping well.

"Yes. But not in the way you're thinking." She smiled slightly, and then let her thoughts wander to the night before. She vaguely wondered if she had done the right thing, and then decided to ask Ric for advice. He was probably the only one she could really talk to about this at the moment. He set a large mug of coffee in front of her, and she took a sip before she spoke. "Can I ask you something?

He nodded, "I'm not sure I fit this parental role too well, but ask away. I'm all ears."

She chuckled lightly, thinking that Ric had done a fine job looking out for her and Jeremy after Jenna's death. She didn't know what they would have done without him, so here she was asking him for advice as if he had been there for her throughout her entire life. "When you have to make a decision, a choice between two options, how do you know when you have made the right choice?"

"Ah, this is about Damon and Stefan isn't it?" She nodded, not even surprised anymore by the fact that he already knew about it. "Well…" he continued, "Rarely is there an answer that is more right than another, but I would say it depends what you feel in your heart."

"That's the problem, Ric. I don't know what I feel in my heart because my brain is constantly battling against it," she waved her arms in frustration.

He gave her a quizzical look as he set a hot plate of eggs, bacon, and toast on the counter in front of her. "If you are any more vague, I'm not gonna be able to give you my two cents."

She sighed, and ate her eggs before they turned cold, speaking between mouthfuls. "All I'm saying is that I have feelings for Stefan, but I know he's not right for me anymore. I also have feelings for Damon, but I'm absolutely terrified to give that a chance. Plus, no matter what I choose, I will end up hurting someone..."

"Well, that is the price you pay for happiness, isn't it? But that's what makes you such a wonderful person. You're selfless, and you do things based on how it affects other. But in your case, I think you could stand to be a little selfish sometimes. Being selfish doesn't make you bad, it makes you human. If you want Damon, then you better do something about it, otherwise you will lose him forever. Stefan will eventually accept it…and he had it coming anyway. As for your friends, well, they love you. They will support you in whatever decision you make. They always have haven't they?"

She nodded, taking in his words of wisdom for a few moments. She knew he was right, but she hated hurting the people that she loved, especially when it involved choosing one over another. She guessed she should have seen it coming though, she had just never intended on following a path that was even remotely similar to Katharine. Then again, she already had by falling in love with one Salvatore, and having the two of them fight over her. The only difference now was that her choice was Damon, and not Stefan, and she still felt guilty about the whole ordeal. She felt guilty about a lot of things, and that was something Katharine simply didn't have in her. Alaric was right, she was only human. She couldn't change the way she felt, but she could undo the hurt that she had done to Damon.

She finished her breakfast, washed her dishes, and hugged Alaric as she headed out of the kitchen, feeling like a weight had been lifted of her shoulders. "Thank you Ric. I know what I need to do now."

"Well I'm glad I could help."

Half an hour later, she returned to the kitchen to grab her water bottle, and headed towards the front door, feeling nervous, yet determined. Alaric was in the living room watching something on the history channel about the Vietnam War. He took in the anxiousness that Elena was emitting, and asked, "Where are you headed off to in such a hurry?" It wasn't meant to be authoritative, he was merely curious.

She smiled at him slyly. "I'm going to go find Damon."

` "You know. I could call him if you want."

"I'm not sure he would answer. He's ignored the fifty or so calls I have made…"

"Well, that's because he is upset with you."

She laughed, and let out a small sigh. "Tell me something I don't know." She sat down on the couch next to him and urged him to make the call before she left. He dialed Damon's number and waited while it rang. A few seconds later, Elena heard Damon's voice on the other end of the line.

"Whaddaya want Ric? I'm a little busy at the moment." That seemed to be his signature excuse for anyone whom he didn't particularly feel like talking to.

"Just wondering where you are, that's all."

"Oh, let me guess, Elena is sitting right next to you isn't she?"

"Ha.." he chuckled. "You caught me. But seriously, where are you? I think there's a certain somebody who misses you." He glanced at Elena and saw a smile creep onto her face.

"I'm not so sure about that. Tell her not to worry her pretty little head about me; I'll be back when I feel like coming back." And with that he hung up the phone. He didn't even have to relay the message to Elena, who had heard every word, and looked downcast at her hands in her lap, fiddling with the hem on her jacket.

Alaric turned to Elena, "Sorry that I wasn't that much help…"

"No don't worry about it. I appreciate it anyways." She rose from the couch and headed to the door.

"Still going to look for him?"

"Later. I think I'm gonna go over to Caroline's for now."

"Be careful, we still have a psycho murderer out on the prowl." Elena found it amusing whenever he adopted the parental role, but she appreciated it more than he even knew.

She nodded, and opened the door. What she found standing on her doorstep made her heart race and her breath hitch in her throat. She stood in her doorway, body frozen but lips moving without a sound until she was finally able to form a coherent word.

"Damon."

**I hope you are all as happy with this chapter as I am! Damon is finally back. Now hopefully they finally manage to make amends with each other.**

**As always, please read and review! I love the feedback more than you know :)**

**~Aya Mae~**


	5. Confessions

**So is anyone else extremely frustrated with Damon and Elena on the show? Good god, I just wanna punch them sometimes. And now Stefan looks like a saint in her eyes because he was able to control himself ONE damn time. Well what the hell, doesn't she see that Damon is ALWAYS capable of controlling himself? Bah! Sorry, the episode tonight made me angry.**

**So without further ado, I give you Chapter 5!**

Chapter 5: Confessions

_You found your way under my skin,_

_And I'm tryin' not to love you, _

_But I hate the way I keep on giving_

_Into you, like I always do, _

_No matter how I try…_

_Or maybe could it be, _

_That you're the part of me_

_That's keeping me alive?_

_Break the Spell- Daughtry_

Damon stood on her doorstep, leaning against the frame with the typical smirk on his face. "Hello Elena." He looked up at her with his piercing baby blue eyes, and saw the confused expression on her face mingled with an expression that almost seemed like suspicion. The pleasure he got from knowing he had caught her completely off-guard only made the smirk on his face widen.

She was dumbfounded. Everything about the phone call Alaric had just made suggested that she wouldn't be seeing him for a long time. Yet here he was, standing on her doorstep, and her previous determination to find him had somehow melted into panic. She found she had no idea what to say to him, much less had any idea why he was there when she was the one who needed to make amends.

"What, cat got your tongue?"

"What? No, I don't know… I mean, what are you doing here? You just—I heard you, on the phone with Ric…" she glanced into the living room to find that Alaric had stood up, now glancing between the two of them, unsure of what was going to happen next.

"Yeah well, _clearly_ I was only giving you a small dose of—oh, what do you wanna call it…your own medicine? Personally, I think a larger dose might have been more efficient, don't you think?" He pushed away from the door frame and entered the house, not waiting for her reply as he stalked past her and into the living room. "How's it going, Ric? Your psycho lady doctor friend hasn't murdered you yet I see."

"I don't care to discuss my relationships with someone who can't even figure their own out, but thanks for the concern, dick."

"Oooh, I'm hurt." He clutched his shirt over his heart and faked a pained expression—a much exaggerated one at that. Alaric rolled his eyes, and walked out of the room. "Oh, come on Ric. We haven't had a heart to heart in _so long,"_ he whined.

"Save the heart to hearts for the girl in the room with you!" he called from the kitchen, and then appeared in the entry way next to Elena. "I'm gonna head out for awhile."

"Come on, don't leave on _my _account. I just got here. Didn't you miss me?"

Alaric laughed. He had indeed missed his best friend, but he knew Damon was only looking for a distraction from the actual matter at hand—Elena. "Good bye, Damon. Elena, I'll be home in a few hours. Gonna go finish grading some papers at school."

She nodded, and he gave them another quick glance before leaving the house. They were alone. Elena wasn't sure whether she should be relieved or worried. The one thing she wanted more than anything was to hear his voice, but this was even better than she had hoped, and she was standing there like an idiot, not having the slightest idea how this conversation would go. Based on their previous conversations, the odds weren't looking too good for this one to be any better.

"So…..Guess it's a party for two." He half sat, half leaned against the couch, folded his arms over his chest, and raised an eyebrow towards her expectantly.

She looked at him sheepishly, not even knowing where to begin with her apologies. So she chose a different approach. "I know I deserved a taste of my own medicine—as much as it sucked to basically have it poured down my throat, but…. You were right. I deserved it."

This took him by surprise, as he fully expected her to burst into a fit of rage over everything he had done wrong in the past week and a half. _Damn. _No matter, he wasn't ready to give in to her yet. She had it coming, regardless of his broken promise and harsh words.

"Oh, I'm right for once? Please, say that again, I don't think it quite sunk in the first time…"

_So, this was how the conversation was going to go. _ "Seriously Damon? Why does it have to be so hard for you accept that I might actually be trying to mend this…whatever _this _is?" she gestured at the space between them, and took a few steps forward. She didn't know how they were ever going to mend things if they continued to get defensive with each other like this.

"Because there is no _this,_" he held his hands up and made quotations in the air. "You have made that perfectly clear, time and time again." He paused, allowing his words to sink in, before firing another retort back at her. "So why does it have to be so hard for you to accept that I might _actually _be trying to move on with my life?"

Her expression softened, and when she spoke, it was straight and to the point. "Because I know you better than that Damon… You act like you couldn't care less, but if that were the case you wouldn't have shown up on my doorstep ten minutes ago. Obviously you came here for a reason other than to make me feel worse that I already do about this entire situation, so out with it already. I'm sick of playing games with you." That was the icing on the cake, she realized, the moment she said it.

"Oh really…." The two words were laced with sarcasm. "You think _you're _sick of the games? When _you've_ lived 148 years being in love with two people who, _ironically _enough, look exactly alike and continue to lead you on while you always find yourself second best to someone else….then you can come and find me and tell me about how you are sick of the games." In a blur, he rushed past her and opened the door with every intention of leaving, but as always, her voice drew him back in.

"Damon stop. Please, I don't want to fight with you anymore…" She stood there pleading with him, while he had his back turned to her. She wished they could just have a civil conversation, but it had never been that simple between them. There were always hurt feelings and betrayal, and she silently wondered if everything would—or could—ever actually work out between them. If they couldn't talk to each other and be open about things, then the prospect seemed highly unlikely. But if they could, she had to be the one to start.

He remained motionless for long enough to drive Elena crazy while he was internally conflicted over his options. He came here to apologize for leaving her, not to have a deep heart to heart conversation, and definitely not to have another one-sided Elena pity party. Yet, she deserved for him to at least hear her out right? That's what he would want if the roles were reversed, anyway. It was just so damn difficult for him. He wanted nothing more than to believe her, but on the other hand, all she had done was play with his emotions. Who was to say that this time would be any different than the rest?

He turned around to face her. "You're right, fighting is pointless…because nothing ever changes between us. Please, tell me I'm wrong about that… I could list off enough instances to make your head spin."

"I'm not arguing with you…you are absolutely right." She approached him hesitantly, and took his hand in hers, as she looked up at him with eyes full of emotion and sincerity. "I'm sorry, Damon…sorrier than you could possibly know, for the way I have treated you."

Again, she had rendered him speechless. He looked down at her, his eyes softening. She was doing it again, finding her way under his skin. It was difficult to resist her when she was this close to him, looking up at him with her brown eyes, which seemed to hold him captive. He wanted to kiss her again, and feel her warm body against his, but it obviously wasn't that simple. Their relationship could never be that simple. He sighed and shook his head, withdrawing his hand from hers. "Elena… it doesn't matter. I didn't come here for an apology. It's me who should apologize."

"What do you mean? You've done nothing wrong…."

"See that's where you're wrong…" He turned away from her again, ashamed about what he was about to admit.

"Damon… look at me." She grabbed his arm and turned him to face her. "Whatever it is, it doesn't matter."

"Don't." It was a warning, and a bewildered expression fell across her features. "Don't place me on this pedestal that I can never stand on."

"I don't understand…"

"I can never be the man you want me to be. I broke my promise to you…I told you I would never leave you again, and I did. All because I was angry with you."

She felt the guilt that seemed to roll off of him in waves, and so she spoke the only words that she could. "I don't blame you for leaving."

"What about when I suck an innocent man dry because I can't control my emotions when it comes to you, huh? What then? Are you gonna tell me you don't blame me for that? Because somehow, I doubt it." He turned slightly, staring at her out of the corner of his eye. He was testing her, and they both knew it. Damon had decided on his way over that he could tolerate seeing her with Stefan, only if she were able to see past his flaws as well. She couldn't hold either one of them to higher standards than the other, it simply wasn't fair. He was a vampire. Stefan was a vampire. And she was human. Unfortunately, that meant her sense of morals ran high, and even though she may not have intended it, she judged them based on their actions, especially Damon's. To Damon it seemed that was exactly what she was doing at the moment—judging him, trying to figure out if he had actually killed a man, or if he was simple being hypothetical. "I know you want to ask, so just do it already."

This seemed to bring her back to reality, but she felt sick to her stomach, unsure of whether she really wanted to know the answer to her unspoken question or not. "Damon… did you kill someone?"

It took a few seconds for him to respond, but when he did, it was not the answer she was hoping beyond hope to hear. "Yes."

She looked away from him, torn between wanting to forgive him, and wanting him to leave her alone for the rest of her life. She knew it wasn't fair of her, after she had forgiven Stefan for much worse. For some reason it hurt so much more when Damon succumbed to his vampire instincts, even if it was her fault in the first place. But she had to follow what she had decided earlier, meaning that she had to take the first step. In all actuality, he had taken the first step in admitting what he had done, and now it was her turn to show that it didn't matter—that she loved him in spite of it all, and that she had indeed chosen him.

She had made up her mind, and feeling more confident than she had ever felt when it came to Damon, she spun around, only to find that he had left—again. In his place was a note on the hard wood flooring. _Had she really been lost in her own thoughts long enough that he had time to write her a note and leave without her even noticing? _ The answer to that question was clearly a yes, and now she was annoyed beyond belief, mad that he had left without even letting her respond. But she figured her silence had been answer enough for him, and like so many other times, he got pissed and left, which was something that simply had to change if they were ever going to make it work.

She picked the note up off the floor and read Damon's swift, but concise penmanship.

_I'm not going to wait around forever for an answer, but when you feel like talking about it, you know where to find me. _

"Ugh, you have got to be kidding me!" She crunched the note in her left hand, grabbed her coat and dashed out the door in frustration. This was going to be settled for once and for all. She was going to march right over to the boarding house and give him a piece of her mind. They would talk about it alright—everything—and he wasn't leaving until she said what she needed to say.

**Hey guys! Sorry to leave you hanging a little bit there… I just had to make it hard for Elena, but at the same time, Damon is just being plain stupid. Haha I really enjoyed writing this chapter, even if it's a little short. Hope you like it!**

**Please read and review, because I simply love the feedback you guys give me :)**

**~Aya Mae**


	6. A Single Conclusion

**Thank you all so much for the wonderful reviews! I am so sorry it took so long to update, but school has seriously been crazy… I finally decided to write the chapter and get it out of the way so I wouldn't be thinking about it so much. **

**Also, this hiatus is driving me insane, and the preview for the next episode was such a tease it bordered on cruelty. Cannot WAIT for Thursday's episode though….hopefully Elena can get over herself for once.**

**Anyway, Enjoy! =D**

Chapter 6: A Single Conclusion

"_I don't mind where you come from,_

_As long as you come to me._

_And I don't like Illusions, _

_I can't see them clearly._

_I don't care, no I wouldn't dare_

_To fix the twist in you…_

_You've shown me eventually what you'll do._

_I don't mind. I don't care._

_As long as you're here."_

All The Same- Sick Puppies

Elena strode up the sidewalk to the boarding house with an air of determination about her. Inside the house, Damon was peering out the window, amused by her annoyed expression. He hadn't expected her to show up this quickly. In a flash he was at the front door, holding it open for her and admiring her with a smirk on his face.

"Seriously Damon?" She waved the piece of paper around in her hand in an exasperated manner and then chucked it at the dark haired, blue-eyed vampire, watching proudly as it bounced off his forehead and onto the floor. "Was that really necessary?"

"What, you didn't like the joke?" He was met by a steely glare and crossed arms. "Oh come on, Elena! It was funny!"

She sighed. _At least he was trying to ease the tension between them. _She managed a small smile of appreciation before asking timidly, "May I come in?"

"I'm not stopping you." He motioned for her to come in and she followed him as he disappeared into the parlor for a glass of whiskey. He offered her a smaller glass of the amber liquid, and she took it gratefully, hoping it would calm her nerves and her racing heartbeat. "Sure didn't take you long to show up here. I'm just that irresistible, aren't I?" He flashed his all too brilliantly perfect smile at her, and she felt a blush creep onto her cheeks.

"Well," she struggled for words, thinking that he really was irresistible when he smiled like that. "I have something to say, and you left before I could say it." Her tone wasn't accusatory, but she couldn't hide the irritation at the fact that he kept denying her the opportunity of saying what was on her mind.

He considered her for a moment, listening to the sound of her heart thrumming loudly and rapidly in her chest, and vaguely wondered what had her so worked up. He dismissed the thought and then advanced towards her. He stopped mere inches from her and spoke softly. "Look, whatever it is you came here to say to me, don't worry about it. You're answer won't change anything." He ran his fingers gently through her hair, and held the silky locks in his hand as he gazed into her eyes.

"No, Damon. I'm going to say what I came here to say, and you're going to listen for once."

He loved it when she was determined like she was at the moment, even if it broke his heart at the same time. He took a step back, letting her hair fall back into place over her shoulder. He cocked an eyebrow, but nodded for her to proceed with her little speech.

_This was her chance. She had to make right all the wrong she had done. She had to tell him how she really felt about him._ But her words were lost somewhere within the chasm of her chest, and she stood there feeling like an idiot, with his baby blue eyes piercing her soul.

"Well….? I don't have all night," he paused. "Well _technically _I do have all night, but I could be doing much more productive things than standing here waiting for you to speak your mind." He began to pace back and forth in front of the fireplace, thinking about all of his options. "For instance, I could be…plotting my next big move against those original dick heads. Or I could be sitting here drowning out all my sorrows in whiskey. _Or,_ and here's the kicker….I could go find myself another victim, and have myself a nice little drink."

"Damon! Stop it… You're better than that."

"Ah, she speaks… but no, I'm not better than that. You know this already, damnit."

Elena watched him from her place by the couch, choosing her next words carefully. "You're right Damon. I guess I misspoke. I know what you are, and I know that is part of who you are...trust me, I understand that perfectly by now..." She looked away from him, tears forming in her eyes as she thought about everything she had endured because of vampires. "I can accept it…I can forgive you for it. But it doesn't change the fact that it hurts me to see you give in to the blood lust."

"Elena… I—" he could see the tears that had pooled along her bottom lashes, and he felt a pang of guilt for every single thing he had ever done to hurt her. He wanted to hold her, and tell her how sorry he was for everything, but she cut him off when she spoke again.

"Don't interrupt. Just listen." She walked around the couch, took his hand in hers, and looked him straight in the eyes before continuing. "I'm done holding you to different standards than Stefan. If I can forgive him for everything he did…then there is no reason not to do the same for you. The thing is…I've been through so much tragedy and despair because of Klaus and every other out of control, blood thirsty vampire or other supernatural being who has threatened my life and the lives of the people I love, that it's been more than I can handle. But then there's you…You have been here for me through it all. And, unlike most other vampires, you have learned how to control the blood thirst. You don't let it rule your life…because deep down you don't want to murder innocent people. That is what matters the most, because it separates you from all of them! And that's all I can ask from you…" She looked away in shame and regret, not wanting to meet his eyes. "It's all I should have ever asked from you…but I was always demanding more."

Damon stared down at her in shock and disbelief, and then cupped her face in his hands. "Elena, everything I have ever done for you…I have done so willingly." He watched as a tear fell from her eyelashes, and gently wiped it away. "Why are you crying?" he whispered.

"Because…I have been so cruel to you," she sobbed. "What have I ever done for you or given to you in return for everything you have done? Nothing!" She threw her arms up in the air and walked over to the window. For some reason, any time she had something important to say, gazing out the window always helped her collect her thoughts. "I've constantly held you to higher standards than Stefan…partially because I wanted you to fulfill them," she admitted, glancing at him in the reflection.

He was merely observing her, drinking in every word she spoke, as if it was intoxicating. For the first time, he was about to get a straight answer out of her. He was anxious, but remained calm. "So what's the other reason, then?"

She sighed and returned to sit on the couch, resting her head in her hands before looking back at the man before her. "Well…because I knew that if you didn't, I could always use you as a scapegoat—as someone to blame for everything wrong in my life. When I realized that you were actually fully capable of meeting those standards, I came to rely on that goodness in you… and I—I took advantage of that. So instead of being grateful for all the good you have brought to my life… I have been angry, because being angry was much easier than admitting that I had feelings for you. I thought that if I could just be mad at you, then I could ignore my feelings… but I was wrong. And in my own selfishness, I have hurt you over and over again." She gave him a pleading look that was filled with sorrow and regret. "I'm so unbelievable sorry Damon…"

In a flash he was kneeling before her, resting his arms on her thighs, and holding her hands in his own. He gently kissed the top of her hand reassuringly. "Elena… you have done more for me than you could possibly know. You gave me hope again, after I found out that Katharine never loved me. You…you have made me feel alive, when I felt dead—when I felt worthless." He looked into her brown eyes with all the love and sincerity in the world, and she wondered why it took so long to admit that she loved him.

"Damon… I've been so blind. I don't know how I could have ever hurt you the way I did…Everything was just so crazy…"

"I know," he spoke gently. "I won't lie and say that the things you've said, and the ways you've treated me don't cause me pain even now…but all I want is for you to be happy, even if that happiness isn't in being with me. I can accept that you may never love me the way you loved Stefan—I can handle that pain—as long as you don't hate me for what I am and what I have done…"

Elena was shaking her head, denying Damon's words. He really didn't know that she loved him more than he could possibly imagine. "You should know… Stefan and I are over. I do not love him the way I once did—I mean, how could I? Nothing would ever be the same between Stefan and I after everything that's happened…"

Damon's blue eyes expressed bewilderment. "You two are…over?" he asked her, and his next words were more mumbled to himself than anything. "I'm an idiot." He stood up abruptly, running his hand through his dark locks. "I shouldn't have left so abruptly that night. I assumed, when he told you he loved you still, that you would take him back… God, I'm stupid. I got angry over nothing! And made you worry about me…made you _cry._ In the end I guess I'll always be the jealous older brother, who never gets the girl he wants. You deserve better than both of us."

Although part of him truly believed that this woman deserved better than either Salvatore brother, he desperately wished she would choose to be with him. He knew he didn't deserve her—hell, he had never deserved her. He wished he could go back in time, and allow her to make her own decisions without doing everything in his power to stop her. She had proven herself to be strong, determined, and perfectly capable of dealing with problems on her own. He had never trusted her enough to let her do as she wished—no, he had trusted her, but he was so afraid of the prospect of losing her that he couldn't accept that she might have had a better plan than he did.

"Damon, listen to me please…none of this is your fault. I caused this. I toyed with your feelings when it wasn't fair of me to do so. You may be overbearing sometimes, but that did not give me the right to throw your feelings back into your face after everything you had done for me in Stefan's absence. If it wasn't for you, I would have given up—lost all hope…for everything. And if it wasn't for what I said, you never would have felt the need to leave. So don't go blaming yourself. If anything, you should be grateful, because all of this led me a single conclusion…." She paused, unsure if it was really the right time to tell him that she loved him. If not now, then when? If she left the boarding house that night without telling him how she really felt, then quite possibly it would be too late.

They were finally talking it out—finally getting everything off their chests. She hadn't realized until she came over just how much there was to apologize for on both ends. There truly had been a giant elephant in the room, and it felt good to realize that it was shrinking in size the more that they talked. Unfortunately, it would never completely disappear until she was able to say those three little words to him. For some reason though, it was much more difficult to admit it to him than it was to admit it to herself and her friends.

He was staring at her curiously, waiting for her to explain what this conclusion was that she had come to, but the explanation never came. He watched as she opened her mouth multiple times as if she were going to speak, and then close it again without uttering a word. It vaguely reminded him of a fish, and he let out a small chuckle in spite of himself. "Are you going to let me in on this conclusion, or are you going to continue sitting there looking like a fish….Elena?" It was as if she was staring off into space, and hadn't heard a word he said.

He knelt in front of her again, and waved a hand in front of her eyes. Her gaze snapped to his face, and she blinked a few times. "I'm sorry, I totally zoned out."

"Clearly. So what is this conclusion that I should be grateful for?" He smiled softly, but she could see the suspicion in his eyes.

She let out a small sigh, knowing that her next words would change everything. The suspicion in his eyes would disappear, replaced by a certain liberation that only her words could produce. It would be a huge weight lifted off of her own shoulders as well, but despite the fact that she knew it was right, she was still terrified. She had no idea what the future held for them. But he was kneeling in front of her, ever so patiently, waiting for an answer—and so she gave him one.

"I love you, Damon."

**=D Finally, huh? I really hope you liked this chapter! I had a lot of fun writing it, and I think it flowed very well. I was a bit worried about writing this conversation; because I didn't want it to be too much dialogue—but it almost had to be, so I tried to insert inner thoughts from both of them when appropriate. As always, please read and review! There will be one more chapter!**

**~Aya Mae~**


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